“Lead yourself before you lead others”
For Harvinder, leadership is not about authority – it begins with leading one’s own life. She believes a true leader first learns to regulate emotions and act with conscious awareness. Her guiding compass is made of four virtues: empathy, compassion, kindness and discernment. When every thought, word and action passes through these filters, the result is not just change – it is inspiration. To her, real leaders are not born from power, but from purpose and example.
One defining moment in her leadership journey came after marriage. Raised by a father who treated his children equally, she grew up questioning social norms. But after marriage, she faced patriarchy in subtle yet painful ways. Instead of reacting with anger, she chose to lead from within – using emotional intelligence, quiet observation and empathy. Over time, she began changing her family environment gently, starting with her husband. Two decades later, that inner leadership created a balanced, respectful partnership and inspired her to write Wifed in India, a book guiding women from patriarchy to partnership through emotional strength.
Her leadership style is conscious and catalytic. She doesn’t command change, she cultivates it. Her values of empathy, compassion, kindness and discernment guide every choice she makes. Whether working as a life coach, author or community leader with BRMC, she helps others grow from resistance to reflection and from reflection to responsibility.
One of her toughest leadership decisions was to separate from her husband – not out of anger, but to reflect consciously on their relationship. She chose reflection over reaction, modelling the emotional literacy she teaches others. Through that journey, both partners gained emotional awareness and reunited as a couple, forming a conscious coupling built on equality and shared growth, rather than continuing life on patriarchal autopilot. This experience strengthened their bond and became the foundation of her book.
Through her work with multicultural women in Australia, she builds bridges between cultures and generations. She listens without judgment and speaks with kindness, helping others feel seen, safe and supported.
Her proudest achievement is turning personal pain into collective healing, helping women discover that softness is not weakness but conscious strength. Her legacy, she hopes, will be a shift from silence to self-expression and from patriarchy to partnership.
She continues to grow by staying a student of life. Her message to young leaders is simple: Lead yourself before you lead others. Build emotional maturity, act with empathy and let your growth uplift those around you, because that’s where true leadership lives.
